||[Oct. 20th, 2006|02:59 pm]
There is a dilemma when giving advice to the younger. One tries to help by providing someone who is less experienced the benefit of yours. The dilemma is that one cannot learn from our mistakes as easily as they can from there own and, thus, trying to help, more often than not, leads to meaningless "I told you so" situations. The wizened try to pass this off as wisdom, when in fact it is foolish to try in the first place.|
I tend to be very foolish in this regard, but less and less so.
As I attend college for (don't laugh) my 10th year (7 of those years were for fun while working, that's just the kind of nerd I am) I am seeing this world with new eyes. I look around and where once I saw peers, I see children. I am beginning to associate my instructors as my peers. My instructors, trained to be just that, still see me as a student. Students, fresh from hichschool, innocent especially in ways they they try so hard not to be, see me as out of place. Maybe I am.
When I was fresh out of highshool, myself, I looked around at all the beautiful *women* (girls) and dreamt only of girlfriends. Now I look around and I pine for something that, until today, I didn't quite grasp.
Friends, I'm talking kids.
I began questioning the role of oxitocin (the "ZOMG KEWT!" hormone) in relationships recently since it does seem a little out of place. Oxitocin is meant to instill a sense of ownership in a parent creature for its child creature. This translates in to the need and urge to coddle and nurture.
Case and point
Come on, admit it. You feel it, too.
Don't play tough, guys. If I were a cute chick with firm tits, you'd be *SQUEEEE!*'n to beat the band right about now. There is a reason for that, of course, were I a potential mate, you'd be doing your damnedest, instinctively, to prove your worthiness as a father.
Of course, like sweeteners and salts, industries use this response to exploit natural survival urges in us to do their bidding, but I digress.
There is a girl in my class. I can say girl because she's in college early and is probably about 16 years old. She has instilled in me an attraction I have never felt for anything that didn't have four paws and whiskers (or scales and claws, or in the case above, cloven hooves, snout, tusks, and bacon.)
When she's puzzled, I am hopeful. When she learns, I am happy. When she shows up with an arm cast, I suddenly feel protective.
Don't worry, it's not a naughty attraction. Instead, it is a calling to raise some runts of my own. This to is a digression.
As a young adult (nice way of saying teenaged punkass) I thought ill of those who came before me and their motivation to associate with me. It was a suspicion. I didn't know what the root of this was, but now I understand. I was rebellious and wanted to make my own way. In my place now, I desire to nurture. There is a section of our lifecycle where we are not receptive to nurturing, and there is a point where we transition out of this phase, look behind us, and watch those who used to be peers transform in to something new, at least in our own eyes. We then become the suspected.
You can't trust anyone over thirty.
And thus the rift between the young and the old is formed.
As far as nurturing goes, those who already have kids at this point probably already have this outlet. I, of course, do not (well, I do have cats) and I am in no way ready, however, my body and mind don't know this.
I was in geek heaven at school. I'm a learn-a-holic and now it is my duty to do so. But now I have a strong desire to get the fuck out. Get out and grow up? Or get away from the children I am now surrounded by?
This is probably a moment felt by all who make it this far in their maturation. I just hope the majority of humanity does so.