I went to Friday Night Blues (natch) and we had great instruction about how to feel the music. Basically how to dance to different elements like vocals, piano, horn, etc. You know, anything other than rhythm.
While waiting for music during the instruction, I'd take my partner and move her around to a rhythm played only in my head. My follow, not privy to this music, could only follow my lead. In this dance, I HAD to lead, and she HAD to follow. For once it was nice to be in TOTAL control of the dance.
Every once in a while, I get follows who are used to club dancing and don't know how to follow. They just wiggle like strung out fish, which is great at a club, but when you've got your arm around them and you are trying to move them around the dance floor, it's very awkward. Take the music away, and suddenly, they'll listen!
And even experienced dancers are hard to dance with. Not because they try to steal the show. No, because they deserve better than my ultra white ass, so I try leading above my skill.
Don't get me wrong, I don't want to control women. That was the most upsetting thing about leading to me; subjecting a total stranger to my will.
But that's why dancing with no music is great! They want to dance, too! They are raring to go! All they need is a pulse. Damn the music, just fucking dance! If you can keep a fucking 4:4 beat in your head, leads, you've got it made!
Of course, I'm not the first to discover this, I can tell because when I watch an instructor grab a random woman from the crowd and show off moves -- in total silence -- a total nub-a-licious follow will flow with the best of them.
P.S. Someone show up to dance with me! When I invite you, I promise I'm not trying to get in your pants (if I some how end up in your pants, that's totally your fault ;-) I am looking for a critic who I can trust to be critical, an experienced person to learn from, or an inexperienced person to help and, by helping, also learn from. Of course, there are few of who here who can take up this challenge, but I can't yell this at everyone I meet.