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In Total Silence [Aug. 12th, 2006|07:49 am]
I discovered something quite interesting yesterday.

I went to Friday Night Blues (natch) and we had great instruction about how to feel the music. Basically how to dance to different elements like vocals, piano, horn, etc. You know, anything other than rhythm.

While waiting for music during the instruction, I'd take my partner and move her around to a rhythm played only in my head. My follow, not privy to this music, could only follow my lead. In this dance, I HAD to lead, and she HAD to follow. For once it was nice to be in TOTAL control of the dance.

Every once in a while, I get follows who are used to club dancing and don't know how to follow. They just wiggle like strung out fish, which is great at a club, but when you've got your arm around them and you are trying to move them around the dance floor, it's very awkward. Take the music away, and suddenly, they'll listen!

And even experienced dancers are hard to dance with. Not because they try to steal the show. No, because they deserve better than my ultra white ass, so I try leading above my skill.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to control women. That was the most upsetting thing about leading to me; subjecting a total stranger to my will.

But that's why dancing with no music is great! They want to dance, too! They are raring to go! All they need is a pulse. Damn the music, just fucking dance! If you can keep a fucking 4:4 beat in your head, leads, you've got it made!

Of course, I'm not the first to discover this, I can tell because when I watch an instructor grab a random woman from the crowd and show off moves -- in total silence -- a total nub-a-licious follow will flow with the best of them.

P.S. Someone show up to dance with me! When I invite you, I promise I'm not trying to get in your pants (if I some how end up in your pants, that's totally your fault ;-) I am looking for a critic who I can trust to be critical, an experienced person to learn from, or an inexperienced person to help and, by helping, also learn from. Of course, there are few of who here who can take up this challenge, but I can't yell this at everyone I meet.



[User Picture]From: xartle
2006-08-13 09:43 pm (UTC)
That whole control versus lead idea is true in the rest of life too by the way. That's what I was trying to explain a couple weeks ago. I should have hit on the dance analogy earlier... Women (typically) want a guy that can lead. And leading well is attractive. It's just an important to realize that leading in life is not the same thing as being controlling.
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From: 404_terror
2006-08-14 06:20 am (UTC)
We've dated vastly different women, sir ;-)

I know when and where to be controlling. Finding a woman who can be attracted to me with out me, first, being a predator, that is the challenge.

But, alas, I am growing to realize that the ends do justify the means, and that using a facade to break the ice is not lieing, but entertainment for my quarry. And as I love to entertain my ladies, I just need to fold this in to my repertoire.

The trick is not being overtly misleading.
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[User Picture]From: xartle
2006-08-14 02:06 pm (UTC)
Pretending to be nice and care about someone you don't even know is just as much of a lie as pretending to be aloof...

But yeah, vastly different women. :)
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From: 404_terror
2006-08-14 02:17 pm (UTC)
I never pretend to be nice, but at times, I do pretend to be mean. Oh so very mean.
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