June 19th, 2007


"When life hands you lemons, beat them to a pulp!"

Who would have thunk the same logic would apply to random small children? Oh come on! Don't act like you haven't wanted to punt a kid or two in your life! Especially the random squirming, squealing, screaming brats that seem to follow you from quite dinner to expensive theater to ball game too granny's house...

...granny always told you to wear a condom, but did you listen? NOOOOOOO!

But I digress.

RR2.0 was an interesting success. By interesting, lets just say we had to make due with a limited number of Caco participants. That meant we had to recruit to fill our robot armies! And like all good recruiters, we found the demographic with the most potential...

...we recruited children.

That's right, we bolstered our meager pool of adult participants with 10 or so rug rats approaching but not exceeding 13 years of age. Nothing like stuffing undersized kids in to costumes made for adults, giving them full sized foam weapons, and then encouraging them to beat the snot out of each other!

All with their parents' approval of course!

After we suited them up and decorated them accordingly, we took them outside and set them loose upon each other! That started about 6:pm. Half an hour later, we gathered them all together for some quick repairs.

Following the repairs, we took them to the arena!

That's right, we split up in to two teams, and squared off in front of hundreds of adoring fans!

The battle was quick and bloodless (we're robots, DUH!)

I personally ripped the heads off of four children and two adults. Is it OK to get some satisfaction out of that?

Alas, like all epic battles, both sides lost many. The only bot that still stood after the carnage (scrapage?) was simply the most confused of the youngsters, puzzled as to why everyone else was lying on the ground, twitching.

To his doe eyed amazement, he got proclaimed the victor by the stage manager interested only in getting us all out of the arena. Oh well. So much for the grand vision of wars having no winners. We idealistic hippies and our narrow visions!

Afterwards, for the rest of the event, I saw our prodigies running around, clutching their cardboard remnants and their packing foam swords and hammers, grinning like frothing, rabid wolverines.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So sue me if I get a kick out of making some kid's day!