Also, I heard about that "dreaded" encounter, RED WINGS!
I had similar discussions when I was their age. I actually had this very discussion with an, at the time, newly aware lesbian. I got in trouble with her because I had a criteria of my own, based on my own experience (actually, my first time, a moment in my life I had eagerly awaited years for); I could not stomach the taste of soap. My lesbian friend said that if I had such a lowly opinion of female genitalia, I should be denied access to it henceforth.
We're talking soap, here! A residue left from a FAILED attempt to cleanse ones bits! Being extra soapy is NOT better than being funky fresh. I felt like asking her girlfriend to "soap herself up good!" for their next romp, but I digress.
Apart from this minor detail, I agree with said lesbian. If you expect a gourmet meal from another person's source of sexual gratification, you should be left to starve.
I haven't heard the term "Red Wings" (out side of hockey talk) since before I was 21. Back in highschool, Red Wings sounded like a badge of honor that everyone had to earn once in their lives, and then never do again. I think that, as we become adults, either Red Wings become another fact of life, or we just grow too pretentious to discuss such matters.
Either way, I do think there should be an award out there. A branding or certification that grants people access to girly bits. The certification should expire as well. Due to timing and control, a monthly renewal is too much to ask (however, revocation of certification due to negligence is an option) but there should be at least a semiannual recertification process.
Of course, this would blur the lines between who is worthy and who is just certified. One shouldn't earn a badge of honor just because one is willing to bring pleasure to their partner in a "suboptimal" scenario. It shouldn't even be a thought. But maybe through exposure and education, we could all become more worthy and more respectful people.
Are you certified?