demi0urgos (demi0urgos) wrote,

Shutup and Squeeze!

Almost ten years ago, I met a woman (we'll call her Jam, cuz my theme is food, and she was Jam'n!) at a party, and she and I instantly bonded. Jam was perfect. Beautiful, smart, energetic. So energetic, in fact, that everyone thought she was a tweaker.

In a matter of minutes, we were holding hands. This was a surprise to me, so I put her hand down and said, "I don't want to look like I'm hogging you."

Could anyone please tell me what the fuck that's s'posta mean? I could only imagine how she took it. Not terribly badly because at some point of that night we found ourselves freaking at Paradice in Lodi.

Obviously, we started down the friend trail because I missed my chance to, as Peachy put it, and I paraphrase, "embed in her mind oneself as a sexual entity."

We spoke lots on several occasions. At the time, both of us were nailing married women. (Yes, yes... The plot thickens.) And we commiserated about what a chore THAT could be.

At some point, and I think this is my fault, she met my friend (hrm, I'll have to come up with a good name. How about Gazelle? A Gazelle is food to something, a few of you might even be able to make the connection. Please post "I got it" if you do) Gazelle. See, Gazelle I had already introduced to a several of her boyfiends, and the one she was dating at the time was one of my close fiends.

As quickly as we had been holding hands, Jam and Gazelle were making what ever it is lesbians make. Gazelle's boyfiend was single, so was I, and two more beautiful women were off the market in own fowl swoop.

Now, causality is always a fun subject and an interaction as complex as this probably has several factors where Chaos Theory would be introduced. All that aside, I can't help but think what would have happened if, AT THAT MOMENT, instead of putting her hand aside, I had just smiled and squeezed?

It's probably a selfish thought. Yes, I might have Jam all to my lonesome, but Gazelle is, in deed, happier as a lesbian. Would she be denied that happiness? Would she find it later? Would Jam and Gazelle still have made Gazelle Jam (they would have met eventually) and broken TWO hearts simultaneously?

We will never know.

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