demi0urgos (demi0urgos) wrote,

I am struggling

My line of work, IT, does something indefensible to its professionals. I am faced with the very real fact that:
  1. To go back to work means giving up control of 60 hours of my life a week.
  2. Even if I seek stability, there is none, anywhere in the industry, at least within a reasonable driving distance to my child.
  3. I will forever need to cultivate a competitive spirit to remain successful in my profession or further risk stability.
  4. I will get next to no vacation.  My experiences with my child will be few and fleeting.
  5. Just by virtue of being stuck at work over 40 hours a week, I may quickly lose access to my child as my busy work week will, undoubtedly, be exploited by Milo's mother.
I am doomed to abandon my child.

What do I do?  I cannot do this.  I would rather live in poverty than neglect my child.

What do I do?  But if I do that, I will become a derelict with a weak support structure for my son.

If I had no fear of consequence, Milo and I would be driving across the world, experiencing it day to day.  In the future, I would pick him up from public school everyday and our adventure would begin there.

I almost want to drop my career and work in the same school district as my child just so I may simply share his hours.

So maybe that's next.  Seeing what schools are hiring IT nerds so I can continue to have an active life with my kid.  Or even more drastic, becoming a career teacher.

What is next?

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